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Heal First, Lift Second

Heal First, Lift Second

The prayer I finally prayed, after years of doing everything I knew how to do.

I prayed with an intensity I had not used in years.

Help me be well. Help me help my children. Help me help my family and my friends and other women.

Heal first. Lift second. That was the whole shape of it.

What it cost to pray that

I taught for years while undiagnosed. Then my mind started to break.

I was in the emergency room, off and on, because I could not speak English. I missed appointments sitting right there in my calendar. I would look at my own handwriting and not know what it meant.

Somewhere in there, I was told that people were tired of hearing about my health. That everyone wanted me to get better.

What if I had had cancer? Would anyone have said that to me?

If you have been chronically ill, you already know exactly what that felt like, and I am so sorry.

Mexico

Things came apart fast, and I went to Mexico in a final attempt to find a doctor who could save my life.

By then I had lost my English. I could not walk without help. I had gone blind in my right eye. I could not sign my own name. I arrived in a wheelchair and went in and out of consciousness for days, too weak even to press the call button.

Then I began again from nothing.

  • Day one. Flex and point my feet.
  • Day two. Lift my own cup.
  • Week three. Sign my own name.

What happened while I could not stand

When I went to Mexico our team was around 3,500 people. I could not lead them. Some days I could not speak.

So the leaders stepped up. They taught the classes I could not teach. They got on the planes I could not board. They carried it.

Our team is now more than 61,000 people. I did not build that. I built 3,500 and then I got sick, and the people I had poured into built the rest without me.

If you want to know whether what you are building is real, get sick and see whether it keeps going. Mine did.

I was doing everything

This is the part I need you to hear, especially if you are in it right now. I was not lazy and I was not missing something obvious. Every single day I was getting the sun on my eyes, drinking my water first thing, walking, taking every supplement I knew to take, eating exceptionally clean, doing sauna and grounding and herbals and scripture and forgiveness and mindset work.

And I still could not get all the way back.

So I prayed

Everything I tried had begun to feel blocked. Not hard. Blocked. And I could not tell whether something was standing in my way or God was moving me somewhere else and I was too stubborn to look up.

Then, preparing for a retreat I fully intended to attend, I heard five words. Not a thought. Heard them, the way you hear someone sitting beside you.

You will not be going.

So I did not go. And I prayed with everything I had left. Not for a business. Not for a breakthrough. Let me be well, so I can serve in whatever capacity You see fit. I do not care which direction. Just let me be useful again.

And then the answer came

It has been two months.

The change was Zinzino. An omega-3 called BalanceOil+. A fiber supplement called ZinoBiotic+. And then Xtend+, Viva+, ZinoShine+, ZinoGene+, PhycoSci+ X20, and a collagen.

On the surface, that did not look very different from things I had taken for years. I will say that plainly, because I very nearly did not bother.

It has been so different. I feel like Steffanie again.

I am writing. I can hold complex schedules in my head. I can look at a problem and see a solution instead of fog. And I no longer feel like a Spanish-speaking woman trapped inside an English-speaking woman's body. I can think freely in English again.

It reached me because a woman named Leah prayed to know who to share with. Show me who needs this most. And then she called me. That is now my prayer, word for word.

Keep your eyes on Me

In my darkest moment I was told, very clearly, five words.

Keep your eyes on Me.

That is all any of us are asked to do. We may not understand the why of it. We are not required to.

If you are praying for something specific right now and it has gone quiet, do not stop. Mine took years. It still came.

Grateful. Grateful. Grateful.

With much love,
Steffanie

This is my personal story and my own experience. It is not medical advice and not a promise of what anyone else will experience. Nothing I take is intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease, and these statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. If you are unwell, please work with your own physician. I am an independent partner with the wellness companies I mention and I earn a commission on sales.

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